


Lost Without You

by Pikachunicorn



Category: New X-Men: Academy X, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: A little fluffy, Although, Angst, But only a little, M/M, Sadness, don't read if you wanna stay happy, ultimate sadness, which is cool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4748078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikachunicorn/pseuds/Pikachunicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>""What are you doing?" Josh tosses an apple carelessly between his hands, reclining back against a tree beside the park bench Kevin Ford has found himself sat alone on at two AM on a Thursday night. Taking a bite of the apple, Josh simply raises his eyebrows in prompt when Kevin doesn't reply, as if his sudden appearance here isn't weird at all."</p><p>*Trying something new, don't hate me...*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this is a couple of hours, so it's really silly and really quick. But yeah, read on, and I will explain more at the end...

"What are you doing?" Josh tosses an apple carelessly between his hands, reclining back against a tree beside the park bench Kevin Ford has found himself sat alone on at two AM on a Thursday night. Taking a bite of the apple, Josh simply raises his eyebrows in prompt when Kevin doesn't reply, as if his sudden appearance here isn't weird at all.

"How did you find me, Elixir?" Kevin mumbles, still unsure of whether this is just another dream or not. He's imagined finding Josh waiting for him over and over. This isn't real.

"Laura." Josh shrugs, pushing off the tree and moving closer. "She was a big factor"

Kevin doesn't have an answer for this. It seems feasible, he supposes. But _why_? Why the hell would _Josh Foley_ come all the way here? _Josh_. Of all people. It has to be a dream. He's certain now.

" _So_?" Josh pushes, dropping onto the bench beside Kevin, kicking his legs up over the other mutant’s thighs. This causes Kevin to look down at the limbs that cross his own suspiciously. The contact is so... _Real_. This isn't a dream. It can't be.

"So what?" He frowns deeply now, looking up to Josh's expression for the first time now. He's still stunning, of course, the yellowish light from the street lamps glinting and reflecting from his golden cheeks.

"What are you _doing_?" Josh repeats with a slight sigh. He sounds a little deflated, but takes another bite of the apple to hide it.

"Why do you care?" Kevin crosses his arms over his chest, pouting and looking away. He just can't let Josh see him. It's too much.

"Listen, Kev." Josh's words earn him a sharp glare from Kevin, causing him to quickly correct himself before continuing. "Sorry - _Kevin_. I've changed since you've left. I'm not how you remember me. And... Really, I feel like you're the only one who would understand. _We're_ the only ones who could understand _each other_."

" _'Changed'_?" Kevin releases a forced huff of annoyance, not wanting to believe this is real still. Even if it is, Josh can't possibly be being so sweet and open. _No way_. "What? You decided to stop bleaching your hair and go for highlights instead?"

"I don't-" Josh throws out an argument immediately, ( _because his hair is a pretty important issue, thanks_ ) but cuts it off quickly, remembering the situation. "No... I just mean... Mutation wise."

"Oh, what? You can never touch anyone either? You were forced away from your home? You can never see the people you love again?" Kevin retorts sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "No. You will never understand this."

"Wither..." Josh whispers, sitting up straight and tossing his apple carelessly aside. He feels like he should be scared - Kevin's face is just inches from his own - but he's not. He knows their powers well. Kevin can't hurt him... _He hopes_. "I just need to talk to you."

"Well, you stalked me this far, so I'd be a tool not to let you at least talk to me." Kevin sighs sympathetically, looking down at Josh's legs on his own.

"Seriously?" Josh's eyes widen in surprise and he blinks at Kevin blankly for a few moments, not believing the other mutant being nice.

"No, you idiot! Not seriously!" Kevin snaps, pulling back with an irritated sigh. "You treated me like shit. I hate you more than anything. Why should I talk to you of all people?" It’s lies. All lies. There’s no way in heaven or earth Kevin could ever hate Josh Foley…

"Because I wanna fix it?" Josh blushes, flicking his legs from Kevin's lap to sit correctly on the bench now, feeling as if this was too awkward a situation for playfulness. "I don't want you to go."

"It's a little late for that, don't you think?" Kevin's perfect Southern accent wavers with a hidden emotion Josh can't seem to unpuzzle.

"I don't know. That day... When you left, I thought... _Maybe_... That I could ignore everything I felt. Like, losing you wouldn't be so hard. But it kinda is. I don't like knowing you're not there to annoy me with your dumbass long sleeve tshirts, or sit out on Phys Ed all pouty and stuff when we play football, or leave your weirdass, metal sculptures in the way everywhere..."

"You know I can't come back, that's not how it works." Kevin lowers his voice to a mumble and reclines back on the bench a bit.

"Why not?" Josh moans, sitting back, also, and releasing a huff of disappointment.

"The same reason you can't." Kevin looks to Josh now with some sort of deep and almost hidden sympathy in his eyes, and Josh doesn't exactly understand that.

"It's because you think you'll hurt us, right?" Josh asks rhetorically. That's why he - himself - can't go back. "Well, you won't! We won't! You'll be fine! We can fix this!"

"This isn't something you fix." Kevin replies strangely calmly, dropping his head. "I'm sorry, Josh."

"Just come back with me! Please!" Josh begs, taking Kevin's gloved hand and looking up into his face. Kevin, of course, pulls away immediately. He can't touch him. _No. That's not- He can't._

"No! I can't! You've just left, right? If you go back, it'll be fine! But I've been away for so long! It won't work!" Kevin pushes himself back across the bench, away from Josh.

"But you-" Josh stares at Kevin with disbelief and a lack of understanding. He just wants him home with him. "Kevin... I've been so screwed up without you! I need you! So much bad stuff has happened since you left and I need you to help me through it!"

"I can't." Kevin releases a shaky breath. Josh stares at him for a moment, eyes widening.

"Please don't do this." He begs quietly, leaning closer. "Come home with me! Please!"

"Josh! Stop it! This doesn't work like that!" Kevin yells, seeing Josh, just too painful for him right now. He pushes his face into his hands, moaning quietly.

"No! I don't care what you think about your powers! They're amazing!" Josh snaps, suddenly taking hold of Kevin's wrist and tugging his glove off in a second. Despite Kevin's desperate resistance, Josh is too quick, and take Kevin's bare hand in his own. "See! I'm fine! You're not gonna hurt me!"

"Josh, please-"

"No!" Josh cuts off Kevin's argument quickly. Taking the other boy's face in his hands, Josh pulls Kevin's attention back to him. "You think you're so dangerous? You think you're gonna kill me? You think you're that powerful?" Josh breathes heavily for a moment, attempting to calm himself. "Go ahead! _Kill me_!"

There is a second where Kevin's shoulders relax and he looks into Josh's eyes. Everything is quiet, apart from their breathing. It's strange. But Kevin barely has time to think about it before he's kissing Josh so deeply. Josh moans quietly into the kisses, sitting up straighter and pushing his hands into Kevin's hair.

"Why'd you have to go, Kev? I've been so... Empty, without you. Everything in my life has been so dull and pointless since then!" Josh is trying not to cry. He's knows that's not very manly, but he's missed Kevin so much. And this is just all too much. All such a painful reminder of how much he cares. "Kevin, I need you."

"I know." Kevin breathes, pushing his forehead against Josh's and closing his eyes. "But you have to try to go back. You have to."

"I can't..." Josh sobs weakly. "Not without you."

"Josh... Please... You need to go back! Please. _Try_! Julian needs you!" Kevin pulls back a little, stroking his thumb over Josh's cheek.

"Julian?" Josh draws back with a frown, not understanding. "How do you know about that?"

"Please, Elixir." Kevin ignores Josh's question, and now he's the one begging. "Laura just told him what happened! He's not dealing with it well! You need to go back! You need to fix it!"

"What? How do you know what they're doing? They're so far away..." Josh isn't really listening, because mainly, he's more than a little confused. "Kev?"

"I'm so sorry..." Kevin shudders through his breathed words before kissing Josh softly one last time. It's slow and gentle, lacking the chaos of their first kiss. It also manages to make Josh forget about any confusion. _This is okay. He'll be fine. He'll manage to bring Kevin home. It'll be fine._

"Woah, Kevin Ford and Josh Foley making out? That's something I wouldn't have put bets on!" Josh draws back immediately at the sound of the familiar voice behind him. He sits up bolt upright, but doesn't dare look. _It can't be- That's not possible!_

"Be nice, Brian!" Another familiar tone sighs, this one far softer and feminine, and a hell of a lot more painful to Josh’s memories.

Josh's face drops, and he still can't find the courage to turn around. He just stares at Kevin, his expression filled with disbelief and fear and hope and shock and everything in between.

"Oh god." Kevin takes Josh's face in his hands, maybe to prevent him turning back. He's unsure right now.

" _Laurie_?" Josh attempts to say, though it's barely loud enough for Kevin to hear, let alone anyone else.

"Hi, Josh." He can almost hear the blush in her tone. It's her. It's _definitely_ her. "I missed you so much. It's good to see you, I suppose. But so terrible you're here."

"Yeah, sorry about that, dude." Brian agrees, and that's the last straw _\- he has to know!_

Josh turns back and _sees_ them. _Actually sees them!_ _They're not imaginary! They're real!_ Brian Cruz sits looking over him and Kevin, on the backrest of the bench, his feet planted firmly on the seat. And Laurie Collins stands closely behind Brian, barely in view to Josh, her hands resting on the back of the bench.

"How is this possible?" Josh stands suddenly and back away a little, his legs shaking. "What the hell is this?!"

"He doesn't know yet?" Brian asks Kevin, raising his eyebrows. Kevin closes his eyes for a moment and takes a breath before standing and moving over to Josh, taking his hands.

"Josh... Do you not remember why I had to go?" Kevin whispers, putting himself in the way of Josh staring at the other two.

"Yeah! You hurt Laurie! After M Day! You left because-"

"No, 'Lix. After that." Kevin breathes carefully. "You were with the X-Force, remember?"

"What?" Josh's voice is barely audible, though it's evident in his eyes that he's remembering. That, and the catch in his breath. "I _killed_ you."

"Yes." Kevin replies simply, staring into Josh's face.

"I don't understand! How am I-" Josh stops himself mid-sentence, again, realization slowly setting in. It breaks Kevin’s heart to see it. He never wanted to see this… Not with Josh. This was never supposed to happen to Josh. "I'm dead, aren't I?"

Kevin bites his lips and releases a dangerously wavering breath, nodding slowly.   
" _I'm so sorry._ "


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, yeaaahh. I love dead Josh. And beaches. I love beaches too.
> 
> Mentions of underage sex.

Josh watches the ocean from the patio of Kevin's home here. Kevin has a home here. On the beach. With a patio. Made of _wood_. Josh still doesn't understand. It's been two days since he discovered his death and it's still quite surreal. He's coming to terms. Slowly. But it's hardly easy. _He's dead._

The ocean lulls against the white sands a few hundred meters away and a soft breeze carries up into the air from its direction. Josh leans back against the frame that houses the French windows when they're closed. Everything is quiet as he just stares at, and listens to, and feels, everything around him. He doesn't know what to say or do. He hasn't for two days. But he feels as if he can speak now. He's not shocked silent anymore.

"How are you feeling?" Kevin's voice startles Josh a little as the brunette comes up beside him with two glasses of orange juice. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Josh forces a soft smile and appreciatively takes a glass. "Strange. It doesn't feel real."

"I know." Kevin answers simply and immediately. He follows Josh's gaze, which has now returned to the softly tumbling ocean.

"How did you accept it? Being, y'know, dead?" It still feels weird saying the words. Nonsensical. It's strange.

Kevin doesn't answer immediately, causing Josh to look to him for reassurance he's still listening. He is. He simply returns the look and takes a drink of the juice.

"I want to show you something."

 

\-----

 

"Do you know what happens when we come here? D'you know why you came to me?" Though Kevin's voice is calm, he paces slowly on the sand before, showing his anxiety over what he's about to disclose. He's led Josh towards the ocean and a little off across the beach, but Josh is yet to discover what it is he's being shown.

"No." Comes Josh's simple reply. He feels secondhand discomfort for the other boy. He wants to know why.

"We go to those we have a strong emotional bond to - be it positive or negative. You came to me because... Well... Because of _how I died_." Kevin finishes quietly. Josh stares blankly now. That sounds dumb. But reasonable. It makes sense. It explains it.

"Who did you go to?" Josh asks, though it feels rude, like intruding on something personal.

"My parents." Kevin's answer is predictable, but the way his voice is so weak and quiet isn't. "My father... He couldn't..." His breath catches and he stops.

"You don't have to say anything." Josh whispers, looking up at Kevin with a soft blush. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine..."

"No." Kevin shakes his head and takes a deep, heavy breath. "No, it's fine. I want to." He swallows the lump in his throat before continuing. "My father didn't want to believe it... That I was... Y'know... _Dead_. Just like I didn't want to believe you were... He got mad... Hit me, told me I had no right to be there... I had no right to take the form of his son... So, I left."

"What?" Josh blinks at him in disbelief. "So, they still don't know you're-"

"No. They think it was some sort of trick. They're expecting me to come here seventy years from now, after starting a family and having a life, or some bullshit. I couldn't hurt him anymore. So I left, and found where I live now. Then, I found Laurie, and Brian, and Jay, and the other students. Things got easier."

"So, you were sort of forced into accepting your death?" Josh pushes, only later realizing that maybe that's a little insensitive.

"Yeah. Something like that." Kevin sighs, rubbing the stress from his forehead. He gestures towards a small house on the coastline, in the distance. "You see that place? That's where they are."

"They're so close... But they really have no idea?" Josh suppresses a sad sigh at this. Kevin's expression totally breaks his heart.

Kevin simply releases a heavy breath and shakes his head quickly, before sitting in the sand beside Josh. They sit in silence for a few minutes. There's no need to talk. They just watch the waves roll slowly in and out.

The quiet is only broken when Josh brings his own thoughts back to the present with a throat clear. He randomly follows this with removing his shirt.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kevin asks calmly, raising an eyebrow in confusion and curiosity, as Josh stands and pushes white pants down his legs.

"I wanna go swimming..." Josh mumbles, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully at the sea just meters away from him.

"But-"

"You coming?" Josh cuts in, still not looking back at Kevin, before he kicks off his shoes and socks, casually removes his boxers like it's totally not weird at all and strolls down towards the water.

Kevin is simply staring, completely dumbfounded (and maybe a little turned on because, _wow_ , that's naked Josh Foley right there). He feels like he should move, but for the moment, he's forgotten how.

Forcing his mind to work, he stands and quickly tugs off his shirt, pants, shoes and socks, watching Josh dive under an oncoming wave. He's nervous because no one's ever made him want to take his clothes off before. But this feels totally fine - _natural_. He reaches the water quickly, and wades in to where Josh is just surfacing.

"Took your time." The golden boy teases, before looking down into the crystal clear water between them with an unamused pout. "Not appreciating your choice to keep your underwear on."

"Some of us like to maintain a little dignity." Kevin smiles a minimal amount, his eyes dropping to where the softness of the tiny ocean waves lulls against Josh's abs.

"I want to kiss you." Josh confesses randomly, blushing subtly. He moves closer to Kevin.

Kevin pauses before replying, "You can. I'm right here."

"I'm scared." Josh confesses. "Scared this is all a dream. Scared you'll kiss me and I won't feel your touch. Scared this is all in my head."

"Do you feel this?" Kevin breathes, stepping closer, sinking into the seabed a little, as he takes Josh's wrist and pulls him flush to his chest. Josh nods. "And this?" Kevin shudders, placing his palm flat against Josh's left pec, drawing it down his chest and abs, as he rests his head on Josh's right shoulder. Another nod.

"It's real. You can touch me - I'm real. These sensations are real." Kevin whispers, nuzzling Josh's throat slightly. He can just tell there must be that perfect, salt water taste on Josh's skin, but doesn't dare kiss him as he longs to.

"Kevin... I'm so sorry for hurting you." Josh can't bring himself to say it properly. To apologize for _killing_ Kevin. He just can't say the words.

"I would've hurt you. And Julian, and Cess and everyone else. You couldn't let me do that. I see that." Kevin whispers, closing his eyes and releasing a careful breath. "You saved me."

"No, I-"

"Shhh..." Kevin hushes gently. "You didn't have any other choice."

Josh nods silently and presses their foreheads together. Kevin's fingers go to Josh's hair and he strokes the damp silvery-blonde locks slowly and soothingly.

"Is it selfish that I'm so glad you're here with me?" Kevin confesses, near-silently. He should be ashamed of that. But he could never have this back in the real world. They wouldn't understand... But here... Here it's okay.

"No." Josh replies simply, eyes fluttering closed, silver eyelashes resting on his cheeks. "I missed you too, Kevin."

"You know I always loved you, right?" There's a promise in Kevin's tone, because, _dear God_ , he means every word. "Especially since I left..."

"I know..." Josh whispers, turning his head to press a soft kiss to Kevin's hair. It's the first kiss between them since Josh learnt the truth. And it couldn't be more innocent. "I love you too."

"This doesn't mean I don't want you to go home." Kevin states firmly, rolling his lips a little. "If we can find a way, I want you to go back, Josh."

"Why?" Josh's voice is barely audible now, as he runs his hands up Kevin's arms.

"You were happy there. And I don't care how much you love me, you still love Julian. And Laura, and Dani, and Cess and Nori, and everyone else." Kevin explains, stepping a little closer. "I want you to have your time with them before you get a forever with me."

" _Julian_..." Josh breathes the name almost as if it pains him physically, his eyes screwing tighter shut.

"He needs you, y'know. He needs your stability. I mean, don't get me wrong, he was like a brother to me a one point, but he's a reckless asshole ninety percent of the time nowadays. He needs someone to rein him in - keep him level." Kevin explains this surprisingly maturely. It just makes Josh fall in love with him a little more. But he's right. Julian will be a mess. He buries his face in Kevin's neck for a moment.

"I'm sorry I fell for him." He whispers breathlessly.

"Don't be." Kevin sighs, stroking Josh's hair. "I'm just happy you found someone with the balls to admit how they felt about you." He teases quietly. Of course he's jealous. There'd be something wrong with him if he wasn't. But the fact Julian made Josh comfortable and happy (and vice versa) takes priority over Kevin's jealousy.

"I never stopped. Loving you, I mean." Josh's voice is muffled by Kevin's skin. "I just couldn't help falling for him too. He was there when Laurie died... And at your funeral... And-"

"You don't need to explain yourself, Josh. Please don't think you need to explain yourself." Kevin cuts in, directing Josh up to look at him again. "I love that you had someone to help you through everything. I see that now. I've had time, Josh. So much time. And it made me realize I only want you. But within that, I only want you to be safe and happy. And Julian gives you that. That's okay."

"You know I haven't seen him for months, right? I don't know what you've seen. But me and Julian... We're a mess." Josh brushes his cheek against Kevin's and steps closer to press their bodies together. "If I went back... I- I have no idea how to fix it. I have no idea how I can make it better..."

"You're both idiots. You just need to figure out how to be _happy_ idiots." Kevin teases with a soft grin.

"Last time I saw him, I had a mental breakdown because he was depressed and I knew I couldn't fix that, and he called me a coward and I left." Josh moans, hiding his face at Kevin's shoulder again.

"You'll fix it. You fix everything. That's your thing." Kevin promises, as if it's a total certainty they're going to wake Josh from the dead somehow.

"I couldn't fix you." Josh murmurs after a moment. Kevin has no reply for this. _How could he? It's true. Totally._ But he can't have Josh dragging himself down like this. He steps away from the biokinetic, forcing him to look up and join their eyes.

"Shut up, Foley." Kevin commands in the most Wither-like way he's said anything since Josh first arrived here.

"Kev-"

"Seriously." He warns, cutting into Josh's words, before stepping closer again, holding their eye contact, and leaning in closer. "Shut up for once."

Josh is wide eyed and swallowing heavily for a second before he pushes his hands into Kevin hair and kisses him deeply. He releases all of his pent up emotions from the past two days within the kiss. The water at their hips hits against their skin softly and it just adds to the pleasure of the situation.

"More..." Josh growls, the word slightly warped by the fact Kevin chooses that moment to bite and tug at Josh's lower lip. Josh needs this. He needs to forget everything. He needs skin to skin contact. So much of it. And more than anything, he needs Kevin Ford.

"Josh..." Kevin can't find the words. He wants to tell Josh just how important this is for him, but how...? _Fuck words_ , he surmises maturely, instead deepening the kiss more (satisfied with Josh's moans in response). Gasping against Josh's lips, Kevin grabs the golden boy's hips and lifts him out of the water. Josh would be surprised at Kevin's apparent strength if he wasn't - _y'know_ \- dead and gone to heaven. But he _is_ dead. And he _is_ in heaven. And that must be why it feels so fucking spectacular when he wraps his legs around Kevin's waist. The water drips from Josh's thighs, over Kevin's hips and back into the waves that surround them. The coolness of the liquid heightens their skin's sensitivity slightly.

"Josh..." Kevin moans, his tone reluctant and a little strained. "I want you..."

"Yeah, good. What's the fucking problem?" Josh murmurs impatiently, before sucking on Kevin's neck and rolling naked hips against the untouchable boy's abdominal muscles.

"I... I was fifteen when my powers manifested..." Kevin breaths quietly, dropping his forehead to press against Elixir's.

"Kev, as much as I would love to get to know your past more personally, now's not really a great time for me." Josh laughs, rubbing his nose against Kevin's, and, _fuck_ , that laugh is perfect. "Right now, I'm a little pre-occupi-"

"I've never had sex!" Kevin blurts out, purely because he has no idea how else to say it. He shudders a little at his own bluntness before elaborating. "I've never been with anyone that way, let alone a guy. I'd never even got to kiss anyone before I manifested. These past couple of days have been such a rush, and I've done so many things so quickly and-"

"Kevin! Woah, woah, _woah_!" Josh cuts in, chuckling. Kevin's confession surprised him, even though it really shouldn't have. But he didn't mind. He could go slow. After all, they had eternity... "It's okay to be scared. Sex is a big thing. A _very_ big thing. And I'm more than willing to take it at your pace, sound good?"

"You..." Kevin places Josh back in the water, gazing into his expression, searching for signs of lying. "You don't think I'm loser?"

"A loser?" Josh cocks an eyebrow, before bursting into a fit of laughter. "No way!" He chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. "I lost my virginity when I was fifteen, at a high school party with some pretty, brunette girl almost two years older than me, in the host's little sister's room. I cried. And it was the worst sex anyone had ever experienced, ever. That is a loser. Not you."

"Wow..." Kevin allows a small smirk to take his lips now. "You were a little slut, weren't you?"

"I was an _idiot_." Josh rolls his eyes at the thought, his smile turning softer. "I thought having sex made you cool. Heads up - it didn't. Well, it _did_ , for the first six months. But then I manifested and grew up and realized that physical interaction is more important than that. I regret it constantly. I wish I'd waited for someone more significant to me."

"Like Julian?" Kevin replies without thinking.

"Well... Maybe... Or Rahne, or Laurie, or Alani. Anyone who actually contributed to my life." Josh shrugs shyly, blushing. Actually blushing. And Kevin notes that seeing Josh Foley blush when discussing sex is something he'd never expected. "I remember Rahne saying we shouldn't go all the way, because I was too young, and even then I was confused by that. I didn't really understand how significant it was when I was younger."

"So, this girl... Your _'first'_... What was she like?" Kevin pushes, because he really is curious.

"A bitch!" Josh replies instantly, with a small laugh. "She spent the whole party ignoring me, until she realized all the hot guys there were too busy hitting on people that weren't her. And even then she only really paid attention when she found out I was on pretty much every sports team at our school."

"So shallow..." Kevin murmurs in agreement, arms around Josh's waist, hands submerged in the cool, ocean waves.

"Yeah. I remember her saying something along the lines of _'cut the crap, blondie - I'm bored, you're horny, go get me another drink and I might consider it'_. And I did. And she did." Josh shrugs, before shuddering a little at the memory. "Jeez, I was fifteen... That is so wrong..."

"Your life was so the opposite of mine..." Kevin whispers, stroking Josh's fringe from his eyes to look into them. "So, was she any good, _blondie_?" He teased, biting his lip.

"It was terrible!" Josh shudders at the memory. "She literally just stripped in front of me and I was totally dying because that was the first fully naked girl I'd seen in real life, and then I'm pretty sure she told me to _'get on with it'_. I had no idea what I was doing and I totally kept my socks on the whole time. But yeah, I cried when I came and she literally rolled her eyes, pushed me off her, got dressed and left."

"Wow. Romantic." Kevin chuckled, kissing Josh's forehead.

"But fair play, I don't think she told anyone how bad I was. And she confirmed we had actually done it when my friends didn't believe me. So she wasn't that bad." Josh surmises, shrugging a little, but Kevin notices now how much this event actually impacted him.

"Josh, you were young. And _male_. We all wanted to be like you at that age. You just got what everyone else was dreaming of. But unfortunately, you got to find out that what everyone else was dreaming of really wasn't that great." Kevin explains quietly and maturely, even though he really has no idea what he's talking about. _How could he? He's just a naive little virgin..._

"I was such a loser when I was younger, Kev." Josh sighs, draping his arms over Kevin's shoulders.

Kevin hugs Josh a little tighter and nuzzles his neck a little, before smirking and lowering his voice to an amused whisper. "Just don't leave your socks on tonight, yeah?"

Josh laughs. "Yeah." But then Kevin's words actually register with him and he draws back with wide eyes. "T-tonight?"

"We're in _heaven_ , Josh. Isn't that where all your dreams come true, or some bullshit?" Kevin's cheeks flush a little, but his smile remains a constant in his expression, relaxing Josh slightly.

"Kevin, this is a big deal..." Josh states firmly, never wanting Kevin to do something he's uncomfortable with for him.

"I know. Which is why I want to explore it with you." Kevin promises, kissing Josh's neck. "I've wanted this for a long time, Foley, _I swear_."

"I want it too... So much..." Josh confesses reluctantly, because he doesn't want to sway Kevin's decision.

"So let's do it." Kevin pulled back to look into Josh's eyes with a soft smile, even though his heat was racing with nerves and anticipation. " _Teach me about sex, Dr Foley_..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eww. Sex. Thst is more certainly the [head]canon events of Josh losing his virginity.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Joshie is dead. *yay*  
> So, I suppose this is set after The Logan Legacy (even though, I'm not sure if he actually DID die then, or whatever).  
> References and clues I *tried* to make:-  
> \- Obviously Kevin's confusion and denial surrounding why Josh is there, because 'no! my bae cant be deaded'.  
> \- "Laura. She was a big factor." So, this was supposed to work in two ways 1) Laura is a brilliant trackers, obvs, and 2) that I like to think the main reason Josh stood up for the Wolverines was because of Laura. She was a big factor in him basically deciding to kill himself (though, he obvs doesn't know that in this point of the fic).  
> \- He's gold. I just want him to be gold and happy in the afterlife.  
> \- "Why should I talk to you of all people?" AKA 'u da loser dat killd me wtf'  
> \- "You know I can't come back, that's not how it works." #NotHowDeathWorksJosh  
> \- 'Kevin, of course, pulls away immediately. He can't touch him.' Again, works in two ways - in life, it would've been because of Kev's mutation. But here, Kevin is still unsure of whether Josh is alive or not (maybe Josh is talking to ghost Kevin), and so he doesn't wanna touch Josh, because if he does, Josh will feel how cold his skin is and know he's dead (or worse, he won't - and that'll be proof to Kevin that Josh, himself, is dead (AKA what happens)).  
> \- "You've just left, right? If you go back, it'll be fine! But I've been away for so long! It won't work!" Poor Kev, thinking Joshy can just go back to living because he's only just died...  
> \- "Go ahead! Kill me!" *awkward turtle* 'Josh, bro, you're already dead'  
> \- "Julian needs you!" AKA 'I've been living thousands of miles away, but somehow still know you've been fucking Hellion? That's not suspicious at all'  
> \- "Laura just told him what happened! He's not dealing with it well!" Josh: 'oh, JK knows I've ran away' Julian: 'WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME WAAAAHHHH' Kevin: 'Dang nabbit, Laura. Couldn't you just not tell the boyfriend?'  
> \- And then, obviously, Laurie and Brian. I was gonna add Jay in too, and Kevin's parents, but decided not too.
> 
> Okay, coolies. I'm done. Whatever.


End file.
